Letter to my dad

So, a lot has happened since I last posted an update including the following: (a) Andy was laid off from his job then subsequently re-hired to his job; (b) I found out that I was pregnant (same day Andy was laid off from his job); and (c) my Dad passed away. Needless to say I had a fairly intense summer...

In May, about two months before my Dad died I had the opportunity to read a letter that I wrote to him...I glad that I had this amazing opportunity and experience - I got to tell him how much he meant to me... I then read this letter at my Dad's celebration of life service ... the letter is below
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May 9, 2009

Dear Dad –

I’ve been meaning to write this letter to you for a while now – I just kept putting it off – I don’t want to put it off any longer.

More than anything, I want you to know that I love you and that you mean the world to me. I am so lucky and blessed to have been raised by such an incredible people.

I have learned so much from you over the years. I learned about budgeting (even though I’m not the best at finances you gave me a solid foundation); I learned how to care for others (you always cared more for others than you cared for yourself); I learned what it took to succeed in the work world; I learned how to find bargains; I learned how to run meetings (I probably would not run successful meetings now had it not been for our regular family meetings); I learned about persistence and tenacity; I learned how to set and reach my goals; and most importantly I learned what is most important in life – God and family. In addition, I learned how to take moments to laugh at life – I learned how to relax and enjoy life from you.

These past ten years, while very difficult, have been an incredible gift. I love how our relationship evolved over the past ten years. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey with cancer during this time. I’m sure that I was annoying and overbearing at times with the doctors – it was, however, my attempt to try to “control” the situation.

Thank you for welcoming Andy into our family and into your heart with open arms. I think that it is so funny that you always want to make sure that I’m treating Andy right. I appreciate this – it shows me that you care for him as well which is very important to me. Andy is an incredible husband, father, friend and provider – we are very lucky and blessed to have each other. It is amazing to see his transformation into fatherhood – he is an awesome, engaging and loving father. He is already talking about savings for college (although paying for child care feels like paying for college tuition).

You have done so many amazing things for me and I’m not really sure how I can thank you. One of the best gifts you’ve given, besides just being my dad, was your willingness to pay for my college loans. This was a HUGE gift and enabled Andy and I to start off in our 20s in a very strong financial position. We would not have be nearly as far along as we are had it not been for this gift.

As you know, there were times, especially in high school where we drove each other nuts – I’m glad that that stage did not last for too long.

You are one of the primary reasons for who I am today. My commitment to serving others comes directly from you. Poverty is one of the main issues I work on at work. While poverty is a systemic issue especially within the African American population, watching and learning from you has given me hope that people who were born into poverty are not destined to live impoverished lives. One of the most frustrating things for me to see is when people give up – you have always been an example of not giving up. You were born into a poor family but you decided that you wanted more. You worked very hard to get yourself out of poverty. Moreover, you made sure that your family never had to experience it…You are a great example of the importance of dedication, commitment, tenacity, and hard work. You have been an excellent father and excellent provider.

You have taught me the true meaning of life. While I know that you are going to a much better place I will be in the presence of God (which I cannot even imagine – seems amazing and awesome) I will miss our regular phone conversations, your helpful insights into work and life, and your general voice of reason. Also, who am I going to have to laugh about moms craziness with? All in all I’m just going to miss you and your physical presence.

While it has been very difficult to watch your declining physical health and knowing that I will miss you terribly, my prayer for you is that you have a peaceful and pain-free journey back to God.

I can’t even imagine what you are going through right now and I know that it probably sucks to watch so many people hurt for you. Just remember what Andy tells me – the emotional hurt is good because it means that you have loved and were loved tremendously. You are loved by so many people and have impacted a huge number of lives.

I’m going to be the best mother that I can to Benjamin (aka “Super Ben”); be a good wife; and continue to watch out for and care for mom and Josh. If there is anything specific that you’d like for mom or Josh just let me know. More than anything, just know that you are leaving us in the best hands possible – God’s hands.

You are a great man of integrity, faith, pride and dedication. You have accomplished the world. I hope that you feel proud – I am very proud to have you as a father.

Love Always,

Angela